Courtney Gray’s Humorous Interp. 2010
HUMOROUS INTERPRETATION: SQUIDS WILL BE SQUIDS
Courtney Gray’s Humorous Interp: 2010
Fables have been around for thousands of years. And it’s no wonder, because even thousands of years ago people were bright enough to figure out that you could gossip about anybody as long as you changed their name to something like “Lion” “Mouse” or “Donkey” Aesop is the famous guy for telling fables. Though he wasn’t the first or the best looking. Most descriptions of Aesop call him ugly, funny shaped or worse. But you didn’t hear that from me. I think Aesop was a swell guy.
John Zcieszka’s book Squids will be Squids. is a collection of fables that Aesop might have told if he were alive today, sitting in the back of the class day dreaming, goofing around instead of paying attention, because his dog ate his homework and he didn’t have time to run out and buy new paper. Enjoy a few of these contemporary fables today and listen for the Moral of each story and remember
Sometimes the names are changed to protect the not so innocent.
Grasshopper Logic:
One brigh and sunny day, Grasshopper came home from school, dropped his backpack and was just about to run outside to meet his friends.
His Mom Asked: “Where are you going?”
“Out to meet some friends
Do you have any homework due tomorrow?
Just one small thing for History. I did the rest in class.
Okay, Be back at six for dinner.
Grasshopper hung out with his friends, came home promptly at six, ate his dinner, then took out his History homework.
His Mom read the assignment:
Rewrite twelve Greek myths as broadway musicals. Write music for songs. Design and build all sets. Sew original costumes for each production.
How long have you known about this assignment?
I don’t know.
Moral: There are plenty of things to say to calm a hopping mad grasshopper mom. “I don’t know: is not one of them.
Pigeon Pie:
Pigeon Was a very good artist. But she had one very annoying habit. Every time she finished a painting she would show it and say, “It’s not very good” just to get someone to say, “Oh no Pigeon. That’s very good.”
One day after she chased everyone else away with her annoying habit, she showed her painting to Saber-Toothed Tiger.
“Oh, Look at my painting…. It’s not very good.”
Saber-Toothed tiger licked his long saber teeth.
Oh no Pigeon. That’s very good. I’m sure it will be perfect roasted, fried, or baked in a pie.
Pigeon was puzzled.
I painted a sad-eyed clown.
Saber toothed Tiger wasn’t looking at the painting.
It was too late. Too messy to tell.
Moral: Whatever looks like a pigeon and acts like a pigeon usually makes good pigeon pie.
Little Walrus:
Little Walrus’s mom told her to always tell the truth. One day the phone rang.
Little Walrus was the only walrus home so she answered it.
Hello
Hello little walrus said the whale, Is your mom home?
No, She’s out having the hair taken off her lip.
Moral: You should always tell the truth. But if your mom is out having the hair taken off her lip you might want to forget a few of the details.
Elephant and Flea
As Elephant grew older, he also grew more responsible. One day he and Flea went to see a movie. They liked it so much that they saw it again and completely lost track of time. “Oh no” said Elephant, when he checked his watch. I was supposed to be home ten minutes ago. Rhinoceros is going to be furious. Do you have a quarter so I can call?
Nope. Spent all my money on popcorn.
So Elephant didn’t call.
When Elephant finally showed up, at Rhinoceros’s house, he was twenty minutes late. she was furious.
“You could have at least called.”
Moral: Elephants never forget, except sometimes.
Piece of toast and fruit loops.
Piece of toast and fruit loops sat on the breakfast table arguing over who was loved the most.
“Of course everyone loves toast the most. I’m half of eggs and toast. I’m all the toast in French toast. I am the toast with the most. Who could not love me?”
Fruit loops said, I’m a good source of 11 essential vitamins and mineral containing 20% of the minimum daily requirements of vitamin C, Iron, Thiamin, riboflavin, Niacin, Vitamin B6, folate, vitamin B 12 and Zinc, based on a 2,000 calorie a day diet and a 1 cup serving size not including milk. I also have 1 gram of dietary fiber per serving and 12 grams of sugar, yellow dye #6, blue #1 and #2 and red #40. BHT has been added to preserve freshness.
But while fruit loops was rattling off his nutrition facts…
Mom had a cup of tea…
“Toast… Toast… toast….”
Dad drank coffee…..
“Fruit loop…. Fruit loop…. Fruit loop…
Son ate a doughnut
“Toast…toast…toast”
Daughter said she’d get a bagel on the way to school.
“Fruit loop…fruit loops… fruit loops…”
Your getting soggy
Your getting stiff
Your getting soggy
Your getting cold
Your getting soggy
Your getting soggy
What fun. I should write some of those myself.
Before I get started it just occurred to me… you might want to know more about Aesop. Aesop used to tell this one fable about a real bossy jerk “Lion” who ruled a city. When the real bossy jerk guy who ruled Aesop’s city heard his fable, he didn’t like it. So he had Aesop thrown off a cliff. Moral, if you are planning to write fables, don’t forget to change the people into animals and avoid places with high cliffs.
